Human Contact

I have often considered myself to be an introverted extrovert - a lone wolf that protects the pack. My “day” job requires me to deal with all types of personalities and the public. I don’t feel like myself in the day hours, so I wear a mask. Sometimes, I wonder if the mask has become permanently fixed.

Since COVID, I have struggled with this aching desire to be in a band again, and to bang on my drums until my fingers bleed. I dream of diving into a living, breathing, amped up audience that came out to have a fucking good time with no cares in the world.

I don’t get my “fix” of social commentary like many, who use social apps. It’s never been for me. I’m a very private person. I’m holed up in this space, with nothing but napkins, pens, and my small electronic children, to expel my creative demons. I fall asleep and dream rockstar fantasies that I don’t want to wake up from, but yet I do - every morning - at 3:45 a.m. and put the mask back on.